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Dating Tips For Online Dating Safety
While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly apply their craft
on the Web, you'll also find them in nightclubs, among the membership
ranks of off-line dating services, at cocktail parties, and occasionally
sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless
of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free
activity. A little caution will reduce your risk in these matters
of the heart.
10 TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING SAFETY
1. Start slow.
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin
by first communicating solely via email. Be on the lookout
for odd behavior or
inconsistencies. "Listen" to your correspondent's
words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust
your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own
safety and protection.
2. Guard Your Anonymity.
All correspondence with members should occur
via a doubleblind email or via your own email program using an anonymous
Nickname, and therefore does not reveal any personal contact information about
you. Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL,
home
address,
phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile
or initial emails you exchange with other members.
Make sure your email signature
file is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding
with any member via your own email. Stop communicating with anyone
who pressures you for this information or attempts in any way to trick you
into revealing it. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone
before revealing any person contact information. Ask questions and make sure
you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and
be selective.
3. Exercise Caution and Common Sense
Careful, well-thought decisions generally lead to better results in dating,
and this is certainly true with online dating too. Guard against trusting the
untrustworthy. Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently
honorable, forthright behavior. Your job is to take all the time you need to
test for a trustworthy person, and pay careful attention along the way. Take
a relatively conservative approach to trusting anyone you meet online. If you
think someone is lying, it is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move
on to someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself and your romances
in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't
become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs
online.
4. Request a Photo
A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove
helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. In fact, it's
best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual,
formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse,
it may be because that person has something to hide. Getting a photo scanned
is less than ten dollars so there is little excuse for not doing
it.
5. Talk Via Telephone.
A phone call can reveal much about a person's communication and social skills.
It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give
out your personal phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead
for added security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay phone. Only when
you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
6. Meet When YOU Are Ready.
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can gradually
collect information and then make a choice about pursuing the relationship
in the real world. You are never obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your
level of online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting, you
always have the right to change your mind. It's possible that your decision
to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you
can't logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your gut instincts, even when
they can't be logically explained. Never meet someone who argues against your
instincts, finds logical flaws with your feelings or pressures you in any way.
7. Watch for Red Flags
Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts
at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making
demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior
are all red flags.You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of
the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:
• Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital
status, profession, employment, etc.
• Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
• Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
• Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona.
• Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.
8. Select the Safest Possible Environment
When you make the choice to meet offline, always tell someone where you are
going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number
with that person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide
your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many people
are present, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar
restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present
is often a fine choice. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for
the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take your own
car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and
say goodbye.
9. Take Extra Caution Outside Your Area
If you are flying in from another area, arrange for your own car
and a hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your
date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive
directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location
you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe,
go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location, or leave
a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows
your plans and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell
phone at all times.
10. Get Yourself Out of a Jam
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid
of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of
there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone
else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you
feel you are in danger call the police. It's always better to be safe than
sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is
much more important than one person's opinion of you.
These dating tips have been brought to you by oneandonly dating. oneandonly.com
offers a fun and secure environment for meeting and relating with others online.
It's also a great place to build loving and trusting
friendships that can lead to long lasting real life relationships. Whether
you decide to
correspond with members online or meet members offline, please use sound
judgment and be responsible for your conduct online and off. In both the
virtual and
real
worlds, common
sense is your best
safety tool.
Visit Oneandonly.com
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